Waiting to Love
My babies have taught me so very much about the love of God. When my baby cries, often before they even start, I am there to help them. Anticipating what it is they need or soothing them as necessary. I don’t wait for them to love me first, I go to them with my love, generously pouring it out upon them. Thinking not of myself or wondering when they will start showing me their love. This is just the instincts of a mother. We love our children first. We begin teaching our children about God’s love from the first moment. That is why it is so damaging when a child is not loved as they ought to be.
What would happen if I loved all in my life that way?
On too many occasions, I have found myself waiting for someone else to make the first move before I responded. In my marriage I can, at times (OK, a lot), desire more appreciation, acknowledgement or just the occasional hug. I find myself turning inward, focusing on what I want. This never leads anywhere positive. Instead of waiting for love, I should be going and giving my own love to him. I should be showing him my appreciation for all he does and give him hugs whether he likes them or not! (For all you who know Tate - you know the answer to that.)
Just the other night, Peter was in a continuous cycle of moaning and whining. It was out of control and driving me insane. He had been put in a well deserved time out, but the light crying continued. The boy just couldn’t snap out of it. It wasn’t a mad tantrum, just a continuous low cry. I told him it was time to go up and take a shower and get ready for bed. More moaning and crying. As I walked up the stairs behind him, I made a conscious choice to love him through this current aggravation. I was going to love him and be loving in my tone and actions, even though he had temporarily lost his mind. I began singing some of his favorite songs, and singing them wrong, to encourage him to sing along with me. In no time, he was singing with me, even if it was still with a bit of a pout. Love was cracking through the surface a little bit at a time.
I can point to a thousand different times in my life where I have been waiting for someone to do something first. Someone to be nice to me, someone to apologize, someone to offer help on an endeavor, someone to listen. In reality, God is calling me to be kind, apologize, help, and listen to others first. As He loved me first, I am called to love others first. A love that is total and holds nothing back, as Christ held nothing back to the point of death.
So the question remains, what am I waiting for? Let me love how God loves. Let me love family and stranger alike. Let me go to them first and not look for what I am going to get in return.
Oh Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, fill my heart with your burning love for souls. JMJ