Little Ones, Big Ones

Hard to believe that Therese is already almost two weeks old.  The time has flown by and been filled with so many blessings.  Having a baby is exciting enough, but then to have dad home for a week is the icing on the cake.   I can’t help but feel I have been living in a slice of heaven.  The weather has been beautiful, no school for the teacher or the students :), I have a sweet new baby in my arms, and I haven’t had to make a dinner in over a week thanks to my kind friends!!  Yes, this post baby bliss inevitably must come to an end, but it is to be savored while it lasts!

 

Slowly life, my new life with Therese added to the brood, is returning to normal.  But this life cannot be the same.  I am forever changed by the birth of my new daughter.  Each day, I just hold her and gaze on her perfection.  When I look at her, I can’t help but know that God is calling me to be a better mother.  All of my children were once this little.  I had this time with each of them in their littleness.  However, somehow over the years as they have gotten older (and mouthier), I have lost some of my gentleness with them.  At times I feel as if I don’t recognize myself at all when I lose my cool and all gentleness flies out the window.

 

It is easy to love Therese, to hold her to my heart and feel her breath.  It is easy to get up with her in the night and feed her and kiss her sweet head while she nurses.  It is easy to sit on the couch with her, all day if I am able, and just be with her.  I know how to do the baby thing.  I know I am very good at that.  I have it down.

 

It becomes more difficult as my children grow older to love and appreciate them as I should at all times.  The good times and the hard times.  They cause trouble, talk back, refuse to do even the simplest task well, and leave me feeling exasperated at times.  I wonder if I am being the best parent I can and spend much time thinking about how to be better.  

 

Therese reminds me that I need to go back to that time when they were little as well.  I need to look for opportunities to spend with them whether it be playing a game or just talking.  I need to hug them more often (even if they don’t want it!).  I need to let them be silly and make noise (on occasion)  and laugh with them instead of asking them to settle down.  I need to just enjoy their company.  It is scary to think how soon some of them could be leaving the home.  It will be here before I know it.

 

This summer, it is my hope I take the time to do just that.  Although some of my children seem to be so big, they are really still little in so many ways.  I need to enjoy each and every moment.  Each day spent in service to my family with my heart filled with gratitude and joy can be a slice of heaven.  As the heart of my home, I set the tone.  God give me the grace to be a joyful, thankful mother.

 

May God bless each of our families with a beautiful summer filled with holy moments together.  Big or little our children need our attention and love.  JMJ