A Birthmother's Love

13 years ago Tate and I were getting to know our first child, Andrew.  It wasn’t the hectic house of nine children running this way and that.  We were on our “babymoon.”   As our only child, we were able to sit for hours and just look at our new son and his perfection.  He was long like a string bean and had these big hands and feet.  He was so contented and loved his bottles!  We felt we were walking in a dream and were constantly raising up prayers of thanks to God for the gift of this long awaited child.  We were truly blissful in our new found parenthood.

 

Such was not the case for his birthmother, Laura.  She had made the selfless, but painful choice, to make an adoption plan for her son.  She loved him as each of us loves their child.  This was not an easy way out; it was the path less taken.  A path that could only be walked with God.  In truth, it was a path in which God had to carry her through parts.  

 

This is not where the story ends though.  And unfortunately, this is the only part that many can think about when they consider making an adoption plan themselves.  The pain of parting is not be taken lightly and it should not be trivialized.  However, like any cross when borne with love and united to Christ, God can heal us in ways we could never have imagined.  When we die to ourselves for love of neighbor (or son in this instance), God can take all our sufferings and tears and turn it into something beautiful.  This is exactly what God has done for Laura, for Drew, and for us.

 

This story is best told by Laura herself.  Last week, after reading about how much Joseph missed his big brother at camp and also remembering his birth 13 years ago, Laura wrote a beautiful email that she shared with her family and me.  With her permission, I am sharing a portion of it with all of you.  

 

It is my prayer for all of us, that we can have the faith and joy of Laura.  That we can know and believe that God is with us through our sufferings.  And though we may not believe we can bear our crosses, by the grace of God we can and he will lead us to greener pastures.  JMJ

 

“I can't believe our Drew will be 13 on Friday.  Drew is and always has been exactly where he was meant to be.  I am so thankful for the gift of open adoption.  It's hard for me to wrap my head and heart around what and how exactly we said goodbye to him 13 yrs ago....the worst of which was that first night at home in chapelwood in that bedroom... Ugh.  The pain felt unimaginable BUT now it's as if that cross was meant to be carried and I feel so blessed God gave me the strength to say yes, it's certain the 'how' we did it was only because of His strength, working in all of us.  Thanks for all of your support through the years.  I know I didn't make it easy.  Love you all. 😘.

 

Drew's Birthday